What Different Memorys You Could Have

Two weeks ago at church one of the sisters of the ward did a talk and talked about a wedding she had gone too the day before. It got both Ralphs and I attention right away. I dont want to go into how we both felt we related to that but only about the couple concered. The sister talked about the horrible feeling at there wedding. Both sides of the couple were not happy about the union beween the two getting married. She said she felt nothing but sadness at the wedding over how everyone was just so angry at each other and unhappy about them getting married. She went on to say how sad it was etc etc. And shes right. Ralph and i talked about it afterwards and said how much more there was she could have added but of course she was only talking about the horrible experience at the wedding. We talked about the lifes that young couple will have in having to deal with this family issue. What do the two families really want to get from there attitudes that day? Are they hoping the couple will come to there senses and get divorced? Telling there parents how right they had been etc etc? What is it the family really want or expect? What Ralph and i talked about is what we think will happen to them (if the family didnt pull them apart which im sure does happen sometimes). They will slowly over the years separate themselves from the family in order to avoid the negitive feelings. Both will be slowly disgusted with there families actions or feelings towards the person they love more then anything. And slowly over many years a gab will slowly form. No one will notice it but it will start until suddenly down the road they will just stop being part of there extended families. Then what is gained? Nothing? Wouldnt it be easier for the two familes even tho they might not aprove of the marriage to well, get over it! Accept its there childs choice and be happy that there child is happier then they have ever been in there life before. They might even find if they give that person a chance that they too will grow to love them. Isnt it better to use those years to get to know the person you didnt want in your family rather then to use them to slowly drive your child away? Twenty plus years down the road where would you rather be? Think about it! We did in fact take these thoughts into our kids when they started getting married. It has been easy as we were able to love there choices right away. But i admit a few of them dated a few scary ones that we would have really had to put above words into pratice. lol. But we would have done it. We never at any time would have told any of them not to marry that person and certainly wouldnt have been in a sulk or whatever at there wedding. You remember how people treated you at your wedding your whole life. Yes you do! Its our job as parents to make sure all our kids have happy memorys of there wedding with nothing but love from both sides of the families. Ralph and i have i know made many mistakes as parents and will contine to do so im sure. But making sure out kids know nothing but happiness at there wedding is not something we will ever be guity of. Nor will we ever treat anyone differenly or ever say a negitive word to one of our kids about there choices. And hopefully if our kids or grandkids that still will have weddings chose someone we dont think is good enough for them, for whatever reason, well, i know we will remember these words and make sure we use the years to improve the relationship rather then destroy it. We could have added so much more to that womens talk, lol. But not sure if the ward would have wanted to hear all what we would  have to stay on this subject. But there are no words really for what you do lose by doing it the wrong way. What memorys you will lose. Not only with your kids but with grandkids and even great grandkids. How much better to use those years the right way. What different memorys you could have.